Noel Licks Some Donuts

Noel Licks Some Donuts

Dammit!  I can’t take my elf anywhere.  While shopping for milk and bread at the grocery store this morning, the sneaky little trouble maker snuck out of the cart and took off.  After searching the aisles for what felt like an hour, I finally found her in the bakery case… licking donuts.  She giggled hysterically, high … Read more…

Noel’s Snoqualmie Valley Flood Report

Noel's Flood Report

This is Noel coming to you from a very wet, very windy Snoqualmie Valley.  Don’t make unnecessary journeys!  Don’t take risks and treacherous roads!   And don’t drive into the river!  Incredibly, people have been spotted in the water, both today and yesterday.  The City Council says their actions are IDIOTIC.  Not only are they putting their lives … Read more…

Noel’s Solution For Holiday Menstruation

Noel's Tampax Peppermint

You may be menstruating this Christmas, but you don’t have to smell like it! Instead of giving off the odor of tuna casserole, try inserting a Tampax Peppermint into your vag, and give off the scent of Christmas.  The unique built-in candy cane melts as you bleed, leaving your bloody gash sticky sweet and smelling minty fresh.  If you give these tampons a try, Noel … Read more…

Noel Gets Her Weekend Shop On

TGIF, people!  While the kids were at school getting educated, Noel decided to sneak out and get her weekend shop on.  All that’s left on her list is a good bottle of wine, some decadent chocolate, and a delicious man.  Hold up, the man part may be covered.  A DILF in the beer aisle just gave Noel’s cart, and ass, the once … Read more…

Noel The Inappropriate Elf On The Shelf Is Back And Ready To Kickstart Your Heart

Noel Is Back And Ready To Kickstart Your Heart

Noel The Inappropriate Elf On The Shelf may be 3 days late, but she is back and ready to kickstart your heart! (Cue 80’s hair band & rock gods, Motley Crue) Last year, Noel’s naughty antics caused quite a stir.  Many of you laughed, a number of you shook your head, a few of you cried, … Read more…