Noel The Inappropriate Elf On The Shelf may be 3 days late, but she is back and ready to kickstart your heart!
Last year, Noel’s naughty antics caused quite a stir. Many of you laughed, a number of you shook your head, a few of you cried, and a couple of you were so offended that you “reportedly” suffered minor heart attacks. (Noel has no comment and is letting the lawyers sort out the details).
You may think the threat of litigation, and Santa’s angry tirade, would slow Noel down, maybe cause her to take pause and reflect on her past inappropriateness, or at least scare her into toning things down a bit. You would think…
But, Noel has never been known for thinking things through, she just wants to make people laugh. She wants to put the fun back in Christmas for all the responsible adults of the world who are out there working the grind, standing in lines, stressing over gifts, and trying to create the perfect holiday for their ungrateful families. Noel is here for YOU and ready to put the Ho!Ho!Ho! back into Christmas.
Sure, she may piss a couple of people off in the coming weeks. She may poke fun of a couple of dumb fucks who have it coming to them. She may even get political and really rile the crowd up. It’s anyone’s guess. Either way, it’s sure to be inappropriate, not safe for young viewers, not safe for work, and not safe if you have a heart condition.
If you like to live on the edge and follow along despite this warning, Noel has come equipped with a defibrillator from the North Pole, at Santa’s insistence. (Noel isn’t afraid of being sued, but Santa is.)